Thinking Differently
It has been unbelievably hard for me to write. I love to write and yet, taking this to a public place has stood me before some scary fears - giants, if you will.
One of my giants is that I see things differently than many people. (Which has the curious effect of taking me away from people, whom I feel deeply pulled to help.) I think it is important that you get to know that if you are to connect with me or understand more of this blog. Allow me to explain a bit more.
Over the last year, I have come to learn more about myself, as this is vital to knowing my strengths and weaknesses and how, perhaps I could find myself in such a place (internally) as I am now. Personality tests have given me insight into this over the years (though I have fought chalking everything up to personality) and I have learned I am an INFJ. These personalities are the rarest in society (easy to be misunderstood in that way). And they think differently and often have trouble expressing their thoughts - except in writing. And they tend to be people-pleasers. One of the weaknesses of this personality is that they often don't know themselves or neglect themselves. (That can make it incredibly hard to feel purpose!)
I must take a moment to digress on something. In the last post, I wrote that my name is a part of me I am actually trying to leave behind. It is part of the death of me. Yet, knowing who God made me to be - knowing the gifts and the weaknesses in me - has helped me grow into knowing purpose - which has the added effect of hope. In another post I would like to talk more about this dichotomy between two "selfs". One is not good - the other is to be nurtured. I think it is incredibly important to know/"see" the distinction. In combining them as one I have also lost The Way!
In actually turning to know more about what has been given to me through personality, I have learned that my ability to care about others, to try to "connect the dots" between how things are related, be focused on religion/spirituality, and also the ability to think in symbols, metaphors, (or I would even say allegory) is part of what has been given to me.
Not only that, He has placed me so as to be able to say these things, now, in this time, with this freedom. I must not neglect these things!
With that in mind, I will do my best to continue to try to share more of what I have gleaned in this ability. Much of it is different, and sometimes, contrary to religious traditions handed to me. I have fought this, not knowing Who I was fighting. I have tried to embrace traditions, safety, and especially perfection through rules. And I have landed hard. Broken. In the dark. In the wilderness. Hungry. Thirsty. In the furnace. - All of these - word-pictures for this place. Maybe you have too?
I believe God also speaks many times in word-pictures. Many of these, I think have been overlooked in order to preserve tradition. Shaking up tradition is dangerous. (Another giant!) But I believe this is The Way as all these word pictures have been promised. Including shaking.
The place where I see the most word-pictures is through the "Old Testament" stories. I believe God combines words, symbol, metaphor, history, and many other wonderfully creative elements to teach us things. (It also helps me to realize this is a part of God in me! I am in His likeness in this ability!) God Himself is described as The Word. Even the concept of story carries more ideas to be shared. For now, I will let you know that I think the word-pictures described in Old Testament stories help us as His followers, to take encouragement and give us more awareness in the times since Christ walked on this planet.
Paul, in speaking to the Corinthians, to make them aware - used examples from the Old Testament, of which he commented:
God has used my story - especially these last difficult years, to open my eyes - to identify with His word-pictures and hear more and think so that I may change/repent/return.
I am not Perfected. I can not possibly be an "expert" on all I share. But, small as the gift is - God has given it to me and wants me to share it - not bury it. I must keep going - working on so many things. He wants others to be aware of these same mistakes. He wants to free these chained prisoners.
Being unusual is to be expected. It is part of the glorious plan of God to be different. Not different for the sake of different. Different for the sake of the true Jehovah God.
May you also take courage whoever you are, wherever you are, in becoming who He made you to be. May He show you the path to freedom.
Over the last year, I have come to learn more about myself, as this is vital to knowing my strengths and weaknesses and how, perhaps I could find myself in such a place (internally) as I am now. Personality tests have given me insight into this over the years (though I have fought chalking everything up to personality) and I have learned I am an INFJ. These personalities are the rarest in society (easy to be misunderstood in that way). And they think differently and often have trouble expressing their thoughts - except in writing. And they tend to be people-pleasers. One of the weaknesses of this personality is that they often don't know themselves or neglect themselves. (That can make it incredibly hard to feel purpose!)
I must take a moment to digress on something. In the last post, I wrote that my name is a part of me I am actually trying to leave behind. It is part of the death of me. Yet, knowing who God made me to be - knowing the gifts and the weaknesses in me - has helped me grow into knowing purpose - which has the added effect of hope. In another post I would like to talk more about this dichotomy between two "selfs". One is not good - the other is to be nurtured. I think it is incredibly important to know/"see" the distinction. In combining them as one I have also lost The Way!
In actually turning to know more about what has been given to me through personality, I have learned that my ability to care about others, to try to "connect the dots" between how things are related, be focused on religion/spirituality, and also the ability to think in symbols, metaphors, (or I would even say allegory) is part of what has been given to me.
Not only that, He has placed me so as to be able to say these things, now, in this time, with this freedom. I must not neglect these things!
With that in mind, I will do my best to continue to try to share more of what I have gleaned in this ability. Much of it is different, and sometimes, contrary to religious traditions handed to me. I have fought this, not knowing Who I was fighting. I have tried to embrace traditions, safety, and especially perfection through rules. And I have landed hard. Broken. In the dark. In the wilderness. Hungry. Thirsty. In the furnace. - All of these - word-pictures for this place. Maybe you have too?
I believe God also speaks many times in word-pictures. Many of these, I think have been overlooked in order to preserve tradition. Shaking up tradition is dangerous. (Another giant!) But I believe this is The Way as all these word pictures have been promised. Including shaking.
The place where I see the most word-pictures is through the "Old Testament" stories. I believe God combines words, symbol, metaphor, history, and many other wonderfully creative elements to teach us things. (It also helps me to realize this is a part of God in me! I am in His likeness in this ability!) God Himself is described as The Word. Even the concept of story carries more ideas to be shared. For now, I will let you know that I think the word-pictures described in Old Testament stories help us as His followers, to take encouragement and give us more awareness in the times since Christ walked on this planet.
Paul, in speaking to the Corinthians, to make them aware - used examples from the Old Testament, of which he commented:
I Corinthians 10:6
"Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved."
I Corinthians 10:11
"Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come."
God has used my story - especially these last difficult years, to open my eyes - to identify with His word-pictures and hear more and think so that I may change/repent/return.
"But if people are bound in chains, held fast by cords of affliction, Then He declares to them their work and their transgressions, that they have magnified themselves. He opens their ear to instruction, And commands that they return from evil." Job 36:8-10 NIV and NASB versions (italics mine)
I am not Perfected. I can not possibly be an "expert" on all I share. But, small as the gift is - God has given it to me and wants me to share it - not bury it. I must keep going - working on so many things. He wants others to be aware of these same mistakes. He wants to free these chained prisoners.
Being unusual is to be expected. It is part of the glorious plan of God to be different. Not different for the sake of different. Different for the sake of the true Jehovah God.
May you also take courage whoever you are, wherever you are, in becoming who He made you to be. May He show you the path to freedom.
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