Freely Flowing

I t has been unbelievably hard for me to write. I love to write and yet, taking this to a public place has stood me before some scary fears - giants , if you will. One of my giants is that I see things differently than many people. (Which has the curious effect of taking me away from people, whom I feel deeply pulled to help.) I think it is important that you get to know that if you are to connect with me or understand more of this blog. Allow me to explain a bit more. Over the last year, I have come to learn more about myself, as this is vital to knowing my strengths and weaknesses and how, perhaps I could find myself in such a place (internally) as I am now. Personality tests have given me insight into this over the years (though I have fought chalking everything up to personality) and I have learned I am an INFJ. These personalities are the rarest in society (easy to be misunderstood in that way). And they think differently and often have trouble expressing their though...

I did not create the path I am walking, though I do choose to walk it. It doesn't look much like a path I would make. I want to present anything I have to say in its most finished and perfected form. (That way there is no more argument. There is no more pain from fault, error, or disagreement. There is no mess or pain from tripping or slipping or bumping or falling. No weakness.) But the reality is I am far from perfect. My name is more and more a mockery to me; "Tammy" means perfection in some renderings. So how do I let go of ME ? I am coming to believe I must follow The Way, one step at a time. Away from what I was before and into what He IS . I can't really safely know Him beforehand. W riting is in me. I know it is - but I am new. I don't know my own "voice" and I don't know my "filter" and I don't know a lot . Including all the rules . What I do know is that I am in pain. And I, so far, have refused to anesthe...