Alone and Yet...

In deciding where I should start to break things open, I have settled on using several posts to springboard off from some topics in a book written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh called, "A Gift From The Sea." In this book she talks about many of the topics I also want to address, particularly in one chapter named, "Moon Shell."

God knows what we need. He knows what I need. He knows when we are depleted. He knows when we need a special time for renewing. He knows when we have been distracted from Him, sometimes even needing healing from wounds we received. In those times, He is near and He calls us to Himself, sometimes without others. It is not because there isn't a need for anyone else. But in this time, it can feel incapacitating without that to which you've grown accustomed.  Indeed, it can feel like an amputation to be cut off from others, as Anne states,

"Parting is inevitably painful, even for a short time. It is like an amputation, I feel. A limb b…

Look What I Found!

Haha! Look at that! See that? "Pishon - Freely Flowing"

Say what?!?!

Incredible! One of the four rivers from Eden was named "freely flowing"!! I have looked this up in other sources - this one is from my "New Open Study Bible - NASB version. (Which I love by the way AND they have quit making. That Bible picture in the first few blog posts? This one. Very worn from use!) Not everyone defines this word in just exactly this way. But this really has metaphorical significance to me. (I even thought about how to incorporate this into the blog name or something as I've seen other anonymous blogs do.)

As I've said in previous posts, I've seen more and more how God uses word-pictures in the Scriptures to show us what He means. The fact that one of the "rivers" coming from Eden - the "garden of God" is called "freely flowing" was jaw-dropping for me when I came across this. As I wrote in  my first post, it has been super impor…

In a Picture

If you are wondering why I haven't posted more regularly yet, let me explain:

This is what it is like to get my words, my thoughts, and my life to line up right now to set the beautiful things inside of me free for others to read!

I continue to work on as-yet unpublished posts as I have time to put them together. When I finally do manage to get a post up it is so energizing to my soul. I am more and more excited to write - now to be patient during this process!

In gazing at this picture that so perfectly captures what I am trying to say, I also saw something deeper. ;) If I am the rainbow colors and the black is the mess I am entangled in (life's blackness and sin) - what might seem to me like an unraveling - might just be the Father's Way of untangling and setting free.

May we continue to allow this process and I thank you for your grace along the Way.

Thinking Differently

It has been unbelievably hard for me to write. I love to write and yet, taking this to a public place has stood me before some scary fears - giants, if you will.

One of my giants is that I see things differently than many people. (Which has the curious effect of taking me away from people, whom I feel deeply pulled to help.) I think it is important that you get to know that if you are to connect with me or understand more of this blog. Allow me to explain a bit more.

Over the last year, I have come to learn more about myself, as this is vital to knowing my strengths and weaknesses and how, perhaps I could find myself in such a place (internally) as I am now. Personality tests have given me insight into this over the years (though I have fought chalking everything up to personality) and I have learned I am an INFJ. These personalities are the rarest in society (easy to be misunderstood in that way). And they think differently and often have trouble expressing their thoughts - except in…

Far From Perfect

I did not create the path I am walking, though I do choose to walk it. It doesn't look much like a pathI would make.I want to present anything I have to say in its most finished and perfected form. (That way there is no more argument. There is no more pain from fault, error, or disagreement. There is no mess or pain from tripping or slipping or bumping or falling. No weakness.) But the reality is I am far from perfect. My name is more and more a mockery to me; "Tammy" means perfectionin some renderings. So how do I let go of ME? I am coming to believe I must follow The Way, one step at a time. Away from what I was before and into what He IS. I can't really safely knowHim beforehand.

Writing is in me. I know it is - but I am new. I don't know my own "voice" and I don't know my "filter" and I don't know a lot. Including all therules.

What I do know is that I am in pain. And I, so far, have refused to anesthetize justso that things…