Why Freely Flowing?

I once looked around in a time of great loneliness, heart bleeding, and need and saw people as though they were water. My mind mocked me and said, "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink*" - because that was how it felt.

There are so many people in this world, with their hearts FULL of something. Many with so much to share - the hurt, the scars, the triumphs, the joys, the understandings, and helps. Each could be a gushing place of water for anyone thirsty like me. Do they not know that their hearts can be wellsprings?

The more I thought of that the more I thought how "normal" Christianity beckons us to hide all of that and perform. We can not show ALL of that - it is too dangerous. Besides, we have to look like we have it all together so people will be enticed to listen to our message. Who wants to listen to someone who isn't a professional in what they proclaim? 

And so - all that water becomes hidden behind a wall. A wall for protection, (for us and them) but nonetheless, a wall that also blocks the water. Then the water stagnates and putrifies - and we as people accept it we begin to die and stink little by little inside.

I can not keep it inside anymore. I don't know where all this inside of me is supposed to go, but it is not supposed to be just for me. It will stagnate and something in me will die. I've touched that dark, icy, cold place. I want life.

I know I don't have it all together. Like water, unless frozen like a rock, it is not all together. It spreads and flows and is. My life doesn't fit nicely in the little containers it is supposed to. It is free-flowing and it doesn't stay in society-constructed molds well. The only way I've learned to stay in those mold is to be hard, unfeeling, and cold.

The style in which I write tends toward water as well. Years ago in school, I learned there is a style of writing called "stream of consciousness". Like a stream, it is free-flowing. Whatever comes to mind is what you write. It doesn't get edited as you write. This is much the way I feel I need to write. I need to write freely, uninhibited by fear or strangeness, or all the rules of writing or of what society says should be.

Flowing water can be gentle and graceful or strong and rushing. I feel the same. Words can have graceful beauty and be full of grace. But it can't be only that. Sometimes words need to be strong. I need to be strong to say things.

Freely flowing water is open for anyone to look upon or touch or drink. May you and I both find refreshment from living water here. May we be thankful for the water's Source.





*from "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Further pondering on wellsprings of the heart: Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 16:22, Proverbs 18:4, John 7:38, Psalm 114:8, 1 Corinthians 10:4; not a wadi as in Job 6:15-18

Further inspiration: How to Really Live the Life You Signed Up For

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